findabar's Xanga

I've Moved to a New Home

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 21:51:49 GMT

Well guys and gals, you can now find me at: http://wordsofmine.wordpress.com

Such A Long Time

Sun, 13 May 2007 17:56:20 GMT

I can't believe it's been this long since I've updated but then I haven't been on the computer much these days.

Happy Mother's Day to those that are. Michael treated me to dinner last night at our favorite restaurant and that was very pleasant. It helps to know the owner because when Michael called for reservations it wasn't going to be until 7:45 p.m. but then the person on the other end said they would speak to Jay and Jay got on the phone and said if we wanted to come in to do so and a table would be ready. This was a good thing because I was hungry. Dinner consisted of an appitizer of calamari, a garden salad with handmade blu cheese dressing, Michael had prime rib and shared and I had grilled swordfish steak and I shared; there was also garlic mashed potatoes and sauteed mushrooms. Need I say we went home stuffed?

Today is going to be an easy day with some puttering around the house and maybe a motorcycle ride in the afternoon and maybe not. A nap might be in order.

Well, I've heard from Stanford and it looks like they will take me in sometime next week to assess my medications and depending what they find I might be a candidate for electric convulsive therapy and will be in the hospital for a week or more. I'm not looking forward to this as I don't want to leave home, Michael and Max but if it brings some relief from the depression and anxiety it will be worth it.

Such

Sun, 13 May 2007 17:46:27 GMT

Another Day

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 03:13:14 GMT

Well, my main entry is at Words of Mine, so go over there to get the details. As of now, I'm tired. Michael would say I over did today in doing housework and thinking too much.

I woke up anxious and decided to combat it by making lists and then getting to it. I didn't get everything done but I'm pleased with what I did accomplish.

It's hard to believe that it is 9 p.m. already. Well, I'm going to call it an evening.

mz. em

I never realized how often I used the words "just" and "only."
--Mary Pat K.

Happy Easter

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 03:05:24 GMT

One of my favorite holidays due to Peeps. It's a shame they are only sold at Easter but then maybe that's a good thing for me.

I spent my morning at the beach and I feel that the sunshine made me feel better. I say this because I've had some extra energy and got a few things done around the house.

Michael is working tonight for a co-worker so Max and I are watching TV and reading e-mail. I am so far behind in posts it's not funny.

Is everyone ready for the beginning of the ending of the Sopranos? I can't believe that this is the last season but then I said that over Six Feet Under. With Michael working I'm recording so we can watch tonight's episode next weekend.

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
--Winston Churchill

Still here

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 03:06:59 GMT

This cold has been hanging on and depression hasn't helped. But, I did get out to walk today.

A Grocery Store Memory

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 00:33:17 GMT

Lee the boyfriend of the time and I hadn't been getting along very well as of late. He was finding fault with all that I did such as the number of times I cleaned the refrigerator, how I made the bed even though he was in it or the fact that he didn't like my cooking. In all of these things he could do so much better than I. My attitude was coming to the point of why bother doing any of them since he was going to find fault and, of course, he could do them so much better than I.

This one Saturday we had been disagreeing about something. I decided to go to the store to get something for dinner. While at the grocery store there was one male clerk who smiled at me, was nice to me and assisted me in getting my groceries to the car. I realized how nice it was to have a male be happy that I had come into the store and that he could help me with my shopping. It was so different from that of home.

As I was driving home I compared the treatment of these two men. One I lived with and the other I saw once a week if that. I deserved better and I made up my mind while I drove that I was moving out.

Arriving home I unpacked the car, put the groceries away and gathered up what I could of my belongings that fit in my car. Meanwhile Lee is watching me with a puzzled look on his face. I told him I was moving out and that I would be back tomorrow to get the rest of my stuff. I didn't deserve inappropriate behavior from him and it was a sad story that I had to realize this from a store clerk to come to this conclusion.

Thus came the end of a five-year relationship by going to the grocery store.

Tonight's Quote:

If you count all your assets, you always show a profit.

— Robert Quillen

Roller Coaster

Sun, 01 Apr 2007 01:13:44 GMT

and not the fun kind. I'm still not feeling well. I'm glad I went to the doctor's early but all week it has been one day of feeling sort of okay. The next day, I'm coughing up a storm, with a headache and feeling very tired.

With the coughing I've had to sleep in my chair - thank heavens for futon chairs. Being upright helps keep the coughing to a minimum.

Today has been a day of not feeling all that hot but I've been napping and taking my meds.

Quote of the Night:

Love involves a willingness to suffer and to be inconvenienced.
--Lewis F. Presnall

Routines Must Be Kept

Fri, 30 Mar 2007 22:58:54 GMT

Ever since being on disablity the routines I had have slowly changed. No more being up at 5 a.m. to meditate and exercise prior to leaving for work.

Breakfast isn't cereal, oatmeal or bacon and eggs. Breakfast is whenever I'm hungry and it may be soup, salad or a sandwich or something Michael has prepared for me the night before.

Housework isn't done on certain days other than I try to change the sheets and towels on Mondays. Other than that, housework is done when I have the energy.

However, there is one member of our family that demands his routine be kept or I'll hear about it. This was one of those mornings. I had stayed up late with Michael watching recorded TV programs since I had slept most of the day yesterday. Staying up late usually means one sleeps in - right?

Forget about it. Max is used to me being up around 8-ish a.m. and I come down and take my medications and then clean out his litter box. After cleaning up, I have my breakfast and then it's time to brush Max and give him his treats for tolerating the indignancy of being brushed even though he has asked to be brushed. The worst of it is brushing the front of the neck area, tummy, around the private parts and the back of the legs. Boy, do these areas bring out an attitude. The 'tude soon leaves once the treat bag shows up.

So, back to the routine. I stayed up with Michael last night and 8 a.m. comes along and much to my bladder's dismay comes a 12 pound fur child jumping on the bed and onto my bladder, looking me in the face and meowing quietly. We don't want to wake Michael up now do we? I open my eyes which aren't ready to be open and Max meows again and plops down on my stomach and looks at me like, "Mom, I've got to go to the bathroom and you have to go down and clean up my litter box - NOW."

Okay, okay, I get up and head downstairs. This little guy is speeding down the stairs past me and flying around the corner and waits in the doorway for me to clean out the box. From there the rest of the routine is set in motion and by the time I finish up my breakfast, Max is ready for his brushing and treats. Once this done, he is a happy kitty and I am left to go back to sleep which I do. I'm so glad my futon chair is comfortable because by this time my cough is back and I don't want to disturb Michael with my hacking.

So, no matter what my routine is, Max demands that his be kept no matter what.

Today's Quote:

Get a grasp on your subject and the words will follow.
--Cato the Elder

Rites of Passage

Fri, 30 Mar 2007 02:03:02 GMT

Luckily I've improved enough in my health to meet Lady C to get our nails done. My nails have gone shorter. It's amazing how much easier to type with shorter nails. As for color since Michael got his red the last time, I chose a lovely shade of purple.

But for rites of passage which is what this entry is really all about, Miss K got her ears pierced. Mind you she is only a few months old and though she is being held by grammie, all of us ladies in the salon know for certain that there is going to be a certain amount of yelling to be done.

Miss K did not fail us either but hugs from grammie and a bottle of milk, the shock of it all was over and she had moved onto other things.

All of the ladies in the salon had their own tales to tell of when they first had their ears pierced. We all agreed that with the entrance of the "gun" sure made the process much easier. So today we were all taken back to that momentus day when the doctor or our best friend with a needle and potato put that hole in our ear and we became ladies.

What bothers me is I cannot find my original pair of earrings which were gold butterflies.

I'm glad I had gone to the doctor's early on in my illness. Now all I have is a cough but it is a cough that feels like it is going to take me head off and my throat is gone. I can't imagine what I would have felt like if I had waited to go see her. I'm still sleeping propped up on three pillows to keep the coughing down. I'm ready to be well though.

Tonight's Quote:

A good leader is a person who takes a little more than his share of the blame and a little less than his share of the credit.

— John C. Maxwell